Careful as they shift, not wanting to overestimate his own stability, S smiles in turn, leaning in for yet another kiss when J's hand rests against his cheek. Little touches like that mean as much as any of the rest of it, as much as being able to see and feel how hard J is and know that it's for wanting him, almost as much as how steadying it is to consider that they'll have time ahead of them now. He still doesn't know how much, and he isn't just going to pretend that everything will suddenly be fine, but still, it's something. It's everything, the world still shrunk down to just the two of them, J's skin damp and sweet under his mouth as S ducks his head to kiss down J's neck to his collarbone.

"I'm sure," he murmurs, muffled but certain, continuing what he's doing for a moment before finally, carefully, he sinks to his knees. His hips and thighs protest the movement a little, but he tunes it out easily enough, pressing his lips to the jut of one hipbone, gently but insistently sucking a mark onto it, pointedly avoiding J's dick for the moment. He doesn't really think he'll be able to drag this out too long, but even so, he wants to make it good, not rushed and perfunctory, wants them both to enjoy it.

It's with that in mind that he finally takes a breath and says what he's been just barely holding back for a while now. "I haven't..." he says, softer now, but trying not to be too self-conscious about it, nosing at the inside of one of J's thighs, pressing absent kisses between words. "Done this. In a while. Since you."