Again J feels tears spring to his eyes, though at least he doesn't start outright crying again. It's hard, painfully so, to think about S alone. It's his own fault and he knows it. That's what makes it worse, really, that he chose that for S, didn't give him a say, that S was lonely not just because J picked that but because he missed J. He abandoned him so utterly. His awareness of that has been one of the many reasons why he's tried so hard to be a better boyfriend this time around.

Until tonight, though, he didn't know what S had done or what the professor was guilty of. That's why he nearly starts crying again, the sudden pang of realization at S's words. Nudging into S's touch, he closes his eyes. He'd thought, for a moment, of saying that S is already nice for both of them, but this new perspective is a bit overwhelming. "For me," he murmurs. "You did that for me."

Even when he was already dead, even when he'd tried to kill S, not even knowing J had tried to help him in the end, S did what he could to set things right. Some of that, J is sure, was because S needs to be able to do things. But he could have found something else, surely, to focus his energy on. He chose the path that would bring some measure of justice for J's victims. For J.

"You're incredible," he adds, soft. "Even with me gone, after all I did, you protected me."